Clair Baker

kaebess

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Clair Baker

My sister- Just 55 years young.

I wanted to share part of her life, her football journey, for my therapy, but also it was part of her life that many of her friends did not get, or understand.

Clair’s sports journey started like so many of us at school. Me being a few years older, playing as much sport as possible, as soon as she joined Chiswick school she was put forward for all the sports teams. She excelled at Hockey playing to a reasonable level. Unfortunately like so many when she left school that was it. But that team ethic was there.

Football was never part of her interest, she first went to Brentford in the mid nineties after I had moved down to the south coast, for work, with a young family. I missed going with me dad, dad missed going, him not being able to walk far, she went as his carer, sitting in the front row in Braemar. Within a couple of games she was hooked. being able to let all the week out, the humour, the language, the team, the part of being of one, all together, no matter how bad the football was in them dark days, she loved it. They went together for well over a decade until my dad passed away. She soon realised that she missed the football. She moved to the New Road, behind the away dugout, to sit close to a friends son. He was and still is exception kind, making sure she was always part of it all. In later years when I wanted to sit, I was lucky enough to join them for a few years before we all moved to the Gtech. Clair has had a ( she still has one in the dugout ) season ticket for nearly 30 years. Later she may not have come to every game as her problems had started.

Away from football, she could play the flute, she could play to concert performance levels. She gave time, even with no kids, to the scouts, because she liked giving, seeing others enjoying themselves.
Work wise she had some very responsible jobs. She became qualified as an engineer ( she was the first female student, the college had to build female facilities for her ). She worked at the National Physical Laboratory in Teddington, soon realising that she like to communicate more. She retrained to become a qualified buyer. Working for Nestle, British Airways, Centrica, BUPA, Imperial Tobacco, Grants Whisky, all in a non operational, buying role. Her favourite job though where she spent most of her time was Warner Brothers. She was buying team lead for the building of the Harry Potter centre in north London. She negotiated the contracts for everything from the concrete for the foundations to the wands that are sold in the gift shop, signing off on 100’s of millions of spend. Her office in London, she sat next to the original Nimbus 2000 broom stick, she was so proud when the centre opened. Just want to give you some perspective of her capabilities.

What went wrong? It’s was Alcohol. However much she gave, achieved, it never seemed enough. She never seem to be totally happy, always wanting more. Over the last few years she had a stomach by pass ( going private to get round the waiting and psychological assessments required ) to lose weight. She lost about 75 kilos in a year. The real issue was never tackled. A couple of years ago just after our mum passed she got married, hoping that was the answer, it wasn’t. He couldn’t cope but didn’t ask for help. It was only recently I found out he never moved in.
In the last couple of weeks digging around. I have found shopping bills ( all delivered ), she brought 7 bottles of wine a day, everyday, for the weeks I checked. I just never knew it was that bad. She was great at hiding it all. Then a few weeks ago her liver just packed up.

What I am struggling with is, someone clear smart, kind, giving, thoughtful of others, always time for her friends, can allow themselves to abuse their own bodies in this way. Just not being able to stop. I like a drink but ???? If anyone reading this knows someone, or are themselves drinking to excess, I plead with you, confront it/ them, get it out there, look for help, get help, stick with people who can help on a daily basis.

If you have got this far, thank you for reading part of my therapy. One last thing. Give it all for the boys tomorrow I know if Clair was there she would be giving the team her all.

Rest in peace my little sister.
 

Clair Baker

I read your very poignant post in much detail. I have a granddaughter of 28 years of age who like Clair has everything to live for but is quite a way along the same path as your late sister.
I will share your post with my daughter who struggles to deal with her daughter’s destructive illness.
Thank you for sharing this & I hope the good memories of your lovely sister sustain you ongoing .
Take care & RIP Clair ?
 

Clair Baker

Thank you so much for sharing so evocatively and openly your sister's story. Clair sounds like an amazing person who gave so much to others. May she rest in peace. My heart goes out to you and your family. I hope that the coming days and weeks are as gentle on you as possible.
 

Clair Baker

A moving tribute, brave and heartfelt. I am sorry for your loss and you are to be praised for posting and I am sure it must have been cathartic for you to have done so. RIP Clair.
 

Clair Baker

My thoughts, as you know, are with you and your family Keith.

This is a bitter pill for me to swallow too. Clair was and always will be one of my mum's closest friend. She had a wicked sense of humour and was always such good fun. As well as that, she was exceptionally kind and thoughtful. When I lost my someone close last year in similar circumstances and far too young, the first person to message their thoughts and condolences...Clair.

Though the one thing that binded us two together, just like so many of us have was Brentford. I had the pleasure to experience our rise from League 1 to the Premiership with Clair often in my company.
So many great memories over the years but one quite recently summed up her character.
We were playing Leicester in our first season in the PL. Maddison had been subbed off and he was having his usual banter with our fans. He was given one of those energy gel things by one of the coaches, which he promptly dispatched and threw the wrapper on the floor. He was about to give a bit back to our fans when Clair shouted "Excuse me, are you going to pick that up" to which he replied "pardon me". Clair pointed to the wrapper and "would your mum and dad let you do that". Madison quickly picked it up and mouthed his apologies.
Maybe you needed to be there but it was one of those small moments that typified the sort of person she was.
Alcohol is a ghost that can haunt so many people. If you feel that it has taken a grip over yourself or anyone close to you. Please talk about it, get help if you need it. There is so much support out there.

Rest well Clair, my good friend. I hope you're at peace in the Griffin Park in the sky.
 

Clair Baker

I read your very poignant post in much detail. I have a granddaughter of 28 years of age who like Clair has everything to live for but is quite a way along the same path as your late sister.
I will share your post with my daughter who struggles to deal with her daughter’s destructive illness.
Thank you for sharing this & I hope the good memories of your lovely sister sustain you ongoing .
Take care & RIP Clair ?
Please do share. It’s so difficult to live with as the addict, or watch a loved one on the path of self destruction.
 

Clair Baker

My thoughts, as you know, are with you and your family Keith.

This is a bitter pill for me to swallow too. Clair was and always will be one of my mum's closest friend. She had a wicked sense of humour and was always such good fun. As well as that, she was exceptionally kind and thoughtful. When I lost my someone close last year in similar circumstances and far too young, the first person to message their thoughts and condolences...Clair.

Though the one thing that binded us two together, just like so many of us have was Brentford. I had the pleasure to experience our rise from League 1 to the Premiership with Clair often in my company.
So many great memories over the years but one quite recently summed up her character.
We were playing Leicester in our first season in the PL. Maddison had been subbed off and he was having his usual banter with our fans. He was given one of those energy gel things by one of the coaches, which he promptly dispatched and threw the wrapper on the floor. He was about to give a bit back to our fans when Clair shouted "Excuse me, are you going to pick that up" to which he replied "pardon me". Clair pointed to the wrapper and "would your mum and dad let you do that". Madison quickly picked it up and mouthed his apologies.
Maybe you needed to be there but it was one of those small moments that typified the sort of person she was.
Alcohol is a ghost that can haunt so many people. If you feel that it has taken a grip over yourself or anyone close to you. Please talk about it, get help if you need it. There is so much support out there.

Rest well Clair, my good friend. I hope you're at peace in the Griffin Park in the sky.
Thank you, so, so much. You always made Clair feel part of it all, and thats not just at football.
 

Clair Baker

RIP Clair.

Condolences to you, Keith, and the whole family. x
 

Clair Baker

My sister- Just 55 years young.

I wanted to share part of her life, her football journey, for my therapy, but also it was part of her life that many of her friends did not get, or understand.

Clair’s sports journey started like so many of us at school. Me being a few years older, playing as much sport as possible, as soon as she joined Chiswick school she was put forward for all the sports teams. She excelled at Hockey playing to a reasonable level. Unfortunately like so many when she left school that was it. But that team ethic was there.

Football was never part of her interest, she first went to Brentford in the mid nineties after I had moved down to the south coast, for work, with a young family. I missed going with me dad, dad missed going, him not being able to walk far, she went as his carer, sitting in the front row in Braemar. Within a couple of games she was hooked. being able to let all the week out, the humour, the language, the team, the part of being of one, all together, no matter how bad the football was in them dark days, she loved it. They went together for well over a decade until my dad passed away. She soon realised that she missed the football. She moved to the New Road, behind the away dugout, to sit close to a friends son. He was and still is exception kind, making sure she was always part of it all. In later years when I wanted to sit, I was lucky enough to join them for a few years before we all moved to the Gtech. Clair has had a ( she still has one in the dugout ) season ticket for nearly 30 years. Later she may not have come to every game as her problems had started.

Away from football, she could play the flute, she could play to concert performance levels. She gave time, even with no kids, to the scouts, because she liked giving, seeing others enjoying themselves.
Work wise she had some very responsible jobs. She became qualified as an engineer ( she was the first female student, the college had to build female facilities for her ). She worked at the National Physical Laboratory in Teddington, soon realising that she like to communicate more. She retrained to become a qualified buyer. Working for Nestle, British Airways, Centrica, BUPA, Imperial Tobacco, Grants Whisky, all in a non operational, buying role. Her favourite job though where she spent most of her time was Warner Brothers. She was buying team lead for the building of the Harry Potter centre in north London. She negotiated the contracts for everything from the concrete for the foundations to the wands that are sold in the gift shop, signing off on 100’s of millions of spend. Her office in London, she sat next to the original Nimbus 2000 broom stick, she was so proud when the centre opened. Just want to give you some perspective of her capabilities.

What went wrong? It’s was Alcohol. However much she gave, achieved, it never seemed enough. She never seem to be totally happy, always wanting more. Over the last few years she had a stomach by pass ( going private to get round the waiting and psychological assessments required ) to lose weight. She lost about 75 kilos in a year. The real issue was never tackled. A couple of years ago just after our mum passed she got married, hoping that was the answer, it wasn’t. He couldn’t cope but didn’t ask for help. It was only recently I found out he never moved in.
In the last couple of weeks digging around. I have found shopping bills ( all delivered ), she brought 7 bottles of wine a day, everyday, for the weeks I checked. I just never knew it was that bad. She was great at hiding it all. Then a few weeks ago her liver just packed up.

What I am struggling with is, someone clear smart, kind, giving, thoughtful of others, always time for her friends, can allow themselves to abuse their own bodies in this way. Just not being able to stop. I like a drink but ???? If anyone reading this knows someone, or are themselves drinking to excess, I plead with you, confront it/ them, get it out there, look for help, get help, stick with people who can help on a daily basis.

If you have got this far, thank you for reading part of my therapy. One last thing. Give it all for the boys tomorrow I know if Clair was there she would be giving the team her all.

Rest in peace my little sister.

oh mate I’m so sorry. That’s so tragic. May she rest in peace. ?
 

Clair Baker

My sister- Just 55 years young.

I wanted to share part of her life, her football journey, for my therapy, but also it was part of her life that many of her friends did not get, or understand.

Clair’s sports journey started like so many of us at school. Me being a few years older, playing as much sport as possible, as soon as she joined Chiswick school she was put forward for all the sports teams. She excelled at Hockey playing to a reasonable level. Unfortunately like so many when she left school that was it. But that team ethic was there.

Football was never part of her interest, she first went to Brentford in the mid nineties after I had moved down to the south coast, for work, with a young family. I missed going with me dad, dad missed going, him not being able to walk far, she went as his carer, sitting in the front row in Braemar. Within a couple of games she was hooked. being able to let all the week out, the humour, the language, the team, the part of being of one, all together, no matter how bad the football was in them dark days, she loved it. They went together for well over a decade until my dad passed away. She soon realised that she missed the football. She moved to the New Road, behind the away dugout, to sit close to a friends son. He was and still is exception kind, making sure she was always part of it all. In later years when I wanted to sit, I was lucky enough to join them for a few years before we all moved to the Gtech. Clair has had a ( she still has one in the dugout ) season ticket for nearly 30 years. Later she may not have come to every game as her problems had started.

Away from football, she could play the flute, she could play to concert performance levels. She gave time, even with no kids, to the scouts, because she liked giving, seeing others enjoying themselves.
Work wise she had some very responsible jobs. She became qualified as an engineer ( she was the first female student, the college had to build female facilities for her ). She worked at the National Physical Laboratory in Teddington, soon realising that she like to communicate more. She retrained to become a qualified buyer. Working for Nestle, British Airways, Centrica, BUPA, Imperial Tobacco, Grants Whisky, all in a non operational, buying role. Her favourite job though where she spent most of her time was Warner Brothers. She was buying team lead for the building of the Harry Potter centre in north London. She negotiated the contracts for everything from the concrete for the foundations to the wands that are sold in the gift shop, signing off on 100’s of millions of spend. Her office in London, she sat next to the original Nimbus 2000 broom stick, she was so proud when the centre opened. Just want to give you some perspective of her capabilities.

What went wrong? It’s was Alcohol. However much she gave, achieved, it never seemed enough. She never seem to be totally happy, always wanting more. Over the last few years she had a stomach by pass ( going private to get round the waiting and psychological assessments required ) to lose weight. She lost about 75 kilos in a year. The real issue was never tackled. A couple of years ago just after our mum passed she got married, hoping that was the answer, it wasn’t. He couldn’t cope but didn’t ask for help. It was only recently I found out he never moved in.
In the last couple of weeks digging around. I have found shopping bills ( all delivered ), she brought 7 bottles of wine a day, everyday, for the weeks I checked. I just never knew it was that bad. She was great at hiding it all. Then a few weeks ago her liver just packed up.

What I am struggling with is, someone clear smart, kind, giving, thoughtful of others, always time for her friends, can allow themselves to abuse their own bodies in this way. Just not being able to stop. I like a drink but ???? If anyone reading this knows someone, or are themselves drinking to excess, I plead with you, confront it/ them, get it out there, look for help, get help, stick with people who can help on a daily basis.

If you have got this far, thank you for reading part of my therapy. One last thing. Give it all for the boys tomorrow I know if Clair was there she would be giving the team her all.

Rest in peace my little sister.
Sorry for your loss mate ?
 

Clair Baker

A tragic tale. Clair was clearly a remarkable woman.
Thanks for sharing.
 

Clair Baker

Powerful read @kaebess. You have my thoughts and prayers.

I have my own worries with alcohol, yet no where near to this level. It is crazy how a few beers and a bottle of red can go down and I wake up in the morning fine.

May Clair fine comfort and peace in her new home
 

Clair Baker

I am sorry for your loss. It’s important not to blame yourself for not knowing what you thought you ought to. I had an older mate, met through work, he was an alcoholic who was dry 99% of the time. But when he hit the bottle, he really hit it. I tried everything I could to help him, I read up what I could, it’s a disease at the end of the day. He controlled it most of the time, Christmas was always a bad time but at the end of the day the person has to want to stop drinking themselves, and until they reach that low point where they’ve had enough, it’s not going to stop. The vast majority of people are just social drinkers, but I always think if you’ve never suffered a particular affliction, it’s difficult to judge people that do. Very sad time for you and I wish you all the best.
 

Clair Baker

I am sorry for your loss @kaebess - that was a powerful and moving post. Kudos for being so open.

Having a family member who suffered from alcoholism, it is a chronic disease that can have devastating impact on family and friends but no-one more than themselves.

May Clair rest in peace. Thoughts with you.
 

Clair Baker

My sister- Just 55 years young.

I wanted to share part of her life, her football journey, for my therapy, but also it was part of her life that many of her friends did not get, or understand.

Clair’s sports journey started like so many of us at school. Me being a few years older, playing as much sport as possible, as soon as she joined Chiswick school she was put forward for all the sports teams. She excelled at Hockey playing to a reasonable level. Unfortunately like so many when she left school that was it. But that team ethic was there.

Football was never part of her interest, she first went to Brentford in the mid nineties after I had moved down to the south coast, for work, with a young family. I missed going with me dad, dad missed going, him not being able to walk far, she went as his carer, sitting in the front row in Braemar. Within a couple of games she was hooked. being able to let all the week out, the humour, the language, the team, the part of being of one, all together, no matter how bad the football was in them dark days, she loved it. They went together for well over a decade until my dad passed away. She soon realised that she missed the football. She moved to the New Road, behind the away dugout, to sit close to a friends son. He was and still is exception kind, making sure she was always part of it all. In later years when I wanted to sit, I was lucky enough to join them for a few years before we all moved to the Gtech. Clair has had a ( she still has one in the dugout ) season ticket for nearly 30 years. Later she may not have come to every game as her problems had started.

Away from football, she could play the flute, she could play to concert performance levels. She gave time, even with no kids, to the scouts, because she liked giving, seeing others enjoying themselves.
Work wise she had some very responsible jobs. She became qualified as an engineer ( she was the first female student, the college had to build female facilities for her ). She worked at the National Physical Laboratory in Teddington, soon realising that she like to communicate more. She retrained to become a qualified buyer. Working for Nestle, British Airways, Centrica, BUPA, Imperial Tobacco, Grants Whisky, all in a non operational, buying role. Her favourite job though where she spent most of her time was Warner Brothers. She was buying team lead for the building of the Harry Potter centre in north London. She negotiated the contracts for everything from the concrete for the foundations to the wands that are sold in the gift shop, signing off on 100’s of millions of spend. Her office in London, she sat next to the original Nimbus 2000 broom stick, she was so proud when the centre opened. Just want to give you some perspective of her capabilities.

What went wrong? It’s was Alcohol. However much she gave, achieved, it never seemed enough. She never seem to be totally happy, always wanting more. Over the last few years she had a stomach by pass ( going private to get round the waiting and psychological assessments required ) to lose weight. She lost about 75 kilos in a year. The real issue was never tackled. A couple of years ago just after our mum passed she got married, hoping that was the answer, it wasn’t. He couldn’t cope but didn’t ask for help. It was only recently I found out he never moved in.
In the last couple of weeks digging around. I have found shopping bills ( all delivered ), she brought 7 bottles of wine a day, everyday, for the weeks I checked. I just never knew it was that bad. She was great at hiding it all. Then a few weeks ago her liver just packed up.

What I am struggling with is, someone clear smart, kind, giving, thoughtful of others, always time for her friends, can allow themselves to abuse their own bodies in this way. Just not being able to stop. I like a drink but ???? If anyone reading this knows someone, or are themselves drinking to excess, I plead with you, confront it/ them, get it out there, look for help, get help, stick with people who can help on a daily basis.

If you have got this far, thank you for reading part of my therapy. One last thing. Give it all for the boys tomorrow I know if Clair was there she would be giving the team her all.

Rest in peace my little sister.
A brilliant tribute.
May your sister RIP.?
 
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